>> YOU KNOW HOW THEY SAY WHEN
YOU FIND YOUR BLISS IS WHEN THE
MONEY STARTS ROLLING IN?
MINE IS SO AMAZING, MAN. IT
TAKES US BEYOND OUR PETTY EGOS,
BEYOND LANGUAGE AND UNIFIES US.
>> EITHER PAY YOUR SHARE OF THE
RENT BY SUNDOWN OR YOU CAN SLEEP
ON THE BEACH WITH ALL THE OTHER
FREAKS.
>> [GASP]
>> DADDY, MY STOMACH! IT HURTS
SO MUCH!
>> IT´S AN INTESTINAL CONDITION,
RESULTING FROM THE CONSUMPTION
OF...HAIR.
>> WHAT?!
>> ANNIE, HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?
>> I JUST PULL IT OUT. THAT´S
ALL.
>> DIXIE, IS THAT YOU? OH, YOU
LOOK FANTASTIC AS A BRUNETTE.
>> NO, I´M TEDDY. TEDDY ROW.
I NEED YOU TO STAY STILL MRS.
REINHOLD.
>> [GAGGING]
>> WE ELOPED 2 DAYS AGO.
>> IS THIS A JOKE?
>> JUST SPIT IT OUT. YOU DON´T
LIKE HER? I DON´T CARE.
>> I JUST HOPE YOU DIDN´T PUT
ANY OF YOUR STUFF IN HER NAME.
>> MAYBE IT´S BETTER YOU WEREN´T
THERE. MAKE SURE SHE CAN´T TOUCH
YOUR MONEY WOULD HAVE BEEN A
LOUSY TOAST. I AM DOUBLING MY
LIFE INSURANCE POLICY. I´M
MAKING CONNOR AND ANNIE SOLE
BENEFICIARIES.
>> WHAT IF ANNIE STAYED WITH US
FOR A COUPLE OF MONTHS? HECK,
CONNOR CAN COME OUT TOO.
>> I HAVE WORKED TOO HARD TO
LEAVE MY FAMILY WITH NOTHING.
>> YOU´RE UP EARLY. IT´S ALMOST
11:00.
>> DO WE HAVE ANY COFFEE?
>> MM-HMM.
I SAVED YOU SOME OF THE PAPER.
IT´S THE "HELP WANTED" SECTION.
ABOUT TIME YOU GOT A REAL JOB.
WHAT´S THIS?
>> IT´S $850 OR AS YOU AND
CHRISTIAN LIKE TO CALL IT,
"RENT." I HAVE A REAL JOB.
THAT´S 2 MONTHS IN A ROW I´VE
MADE NOW.
>> OH, WAIT A SECOND. DID I HEAR
YOU SAY YOU´RE PAYING THE RENT
WITHOUT ANOTHER THREAT OF
HOMELESSNESS. GIVE ME A LOOK AT
THIS STUFF. HMM. SMELL LIKES
REAL MONEY. LOOKS LIKE REAL
MONEY. WHAT DO YOU THINK?
>> OF COURSE IT´S REAL. AND
HERE. HERE´S A LITTLE EXTRA.
WHY DON´T YOU GET SOME REAL
COFFEE AROUND HERE FROM NOW ON?
THIS STUFF SUCKS.
>> WHERE´D YOU GET ALL THIS
MONEY?
>> WHERE DO YOU THINK?
FROM PRACTICING MY CRAFT.
>> CRAFT? YOU MEAN MIMING
>> THAT´S RIGHT?
>> I HEARD ABOUT YOU! THE MIME!
ROBBING PEOPLE.
[ALARM BELL RINGING]
YOU DON´T SCARE ME!
[GASP]
>> LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.
PEOPLE ACTUALLY PAY TO SEE YOU
PERFORM.
>> YEAH. MIMES ARE BACK,
CHRISTIAN IN A BIG WAY. THANKS
TO YOU TWO ALL THE GREATS ARE
BEING REDISCOVERED--MARCEL
MARCEAU, SHIELDS AND YARNELL.
I´M JUST CARRYING ON THE
TRADITION.
>> WELL, YOU MUST BE PRETTY GOOD
IF YOU´RE GETTING PAID LIKE
THIS.
>> I AM. I MAKE ENOUGH TO PAY MY
RENT AND SUPPORT MY CHILD.
PLEASE LET ME SEE HER ON
SATURDAY. I WAS GOING TO TAKE
HER TO THE PIER.
>> FORGET IT DEAD BEAT DAD.
YOU KNOW, YOU ARE 5 MONTHS
BEHIND ON YOUR CHILD SUPPORT.
I´M WORKING MY FINGERS TO THE
BONE TO PAY FOR HER CHILDCARE.
NO. I´M SORRY, I PAY FOR
EVERYTHING. SO, YOU CONSIDER
THIS YOUR LAST VISIT UNTIL YOU
PAY UP.
>> HERE. I´LL PICK HER UP AT
9:00 A.M. YOU MAKE SURE SHE´S
READY. AM I CLEAR?
>> WHERE DID YOU GET THIS CASH?
>> WE SHOULD COME SEE YOU
PERFORM.
>> THAT´S A GOOD IDEA. YOU JUST
STAND ON THE VENICE BOARDWALK,
RIGHT?
>> YOU DON´T HAVE TO DO THAT.
>> WE´RE PROUD OF YOU, MATT.
I MEAN IT SEEMS LIKE YOU FINALLY
FOUND SOMETHING YOU REALLY LIKE
DOING.
>> AND YOU´RE MAKING MONEY,
WHICH I´M VERY IMPRESSED WITH.
EVEN IF YOU ARE A CLOWN.
>> MIMES AREN´T CLOWNS.
I´M AN ARTIST.
>> MMM.
>> WE JUST WANT TO SHOW OUR
SUPPORT. YOU KNOW, WE CAN COME
DOWN, ALL GET LUNCH TOGETHER.
AND MAKE A DAY OF IT.
>> LOOK, I DON´T WANT YOU TO.
OK? LOOK, YOU GUYS HAVE NEVER
SUPPORTED ME. NOT ONCE. I DON´T
NEED YOU TO START NOW. I MEAN,
REALLY MAN. ISN´T THE MONEY
ENOUGH?
♫ MAKE ME,
THE PERFECT SOUL
A PERFECT MIND,
A PERFECT FACE,
A PERFECT
LIE ♫
>> THEY´VE EXPIRED. IT´S A
WASTE. WE DON´T NEED THIS MUCH
LIDOCAINE, ALL RIGHT. WE SHOULD
JUST CUT BACK UNTIL THINGS
PICK UP.
>> WE JUST CUT BACK ON THE
EPINEPHRINE AND THE ATROPINE.
I DON´T WANT TO RISK NOT HAVING
WHAT WE NEED IN CASE OF AN
EMERGENCY. WHAT ABOUT THE
PRE-FILLED SYRINGES--
>> OUTDATED. ALL OF IT, OK? IT´S
MONEY JUST THROWN AWAY. I MEAN,
MAYBE WITH THE RENT GOING UP ON
THE MALIBU HOUSE, WE SHOULD JUST
DO SURGERIES THERE. WE´D SAVE A
BUNDLE.
>> YOU KNOW, I SHOULD JUST TELL
YOU. TEDDY´S PLACE SOLD.
AND WE MADE AN OFFER ON A REALLY
GREAT PLACE WE SAW. SANTA MONICA
ADJACENT.
>> WELL, THAT´S GREAT.
I MEAN, I´M FINE. I´LL BE FINE.
YOU KNOW. I´M NOT GONNA LET RENT
GET IN THE WAY OF YOU MOVING ON
WITH YOUR LIFE. I THINK IT´S
GREAT.
>> WHOO. I GOTTA GO.
>> SO, WHEN´S CONNOR´S FLIGHT
GET IN?
>> UH, 11:10.
I CAN´T WAIT FOR TEDDY TO MEET
THE LITTLE GUY.
YOU KNOW, SHE´S REALLY EXCITED
ABOUT BECOMING A PART OF THIS
WHOLE NEW FAMILY.
>> I GUESS THAT DOESN´T INCLUDE
ME BECAUSE SHE DOESN´T GIVE A
SHIT ABOUT GETTING TO KNOW ME.
>> YOU JUST HAVE TO GIVE IT A
LITTLE TIME. YOU GUYS GOT OFF TO
A ROCKY START. YOU DIDN´T LIKE
HER FROM THE BEGINNING.
YOU KNOW TEDDY IS PLANNING A
LITTLE FAMILY BRUNCH TO WELCOME
CONNOR TO L.A. WHY DON´T YOU
COME?
>> YOU KNOW, MAYBE LATER. SHE
SHOULD--SHE SHOULD GET TO KNOW
THE KIDS FIRST.
>> ♫ GOT SOME BAD NEWS
THIS MORNING,
WHICH IN TURN MADE MY DAY,
WHEN THIS SOMEONE SPOKE...♫
>> ONE MORE.
>> BAD DAY, DOC?
>> BAD YEAR.
>> DON´T MEAN TO MAKE IT ANY
WORSE. BUT, UH, YOU NEED TO
CLOSE OUT YOUR TAB. IT´S BEEN A
COUPLE OF MONTHS NOW. BOSS HAS
BEEN ON ME ABOUT IT.
>> WHEN´S THE BOSS GONNA GET
SOME NEW TALENT AROUND HERE?
I MEAN, THESE OLD WHORES ARE
GETTING TIRED.
>> COUPLE OF NEW GIRLS ON A
BREAK RIGHT NOW. ONE OF ´EM IS
KINDA SKINNY. BUT THE OTHER
ONE...RIGHT UP YOUR ALLEY.
A HUGE TALENT. JUGGERNAUT
TALENT, TRUTHFULLY.
>> WHAT´S HER NAME?
>> JENNY. JENNY JUGGS.
>> WELL, WHY DON´T YOU RUN ALONG
AND TELL JENNY JUGGS TO BRUSH
HER TEETH AND MEET ME IN THE
V.I.P. ROOM.
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. I´LL PAY THE
TAB BEFORE I GO.
>> MMM.
>> AHH. NO TOUCHING.
NO TOUCHING. NO, NO.
YOU LIKE MY BOOBIES?
>> YEAH.
>> YOU DO DON´T YOU.
´CAUSE YOU´RE A VERY NASTY
LITTLE BOY.
>> JUST A LITTLE FEEL? I MEAN,
I GOTTA SEE IF THOSE BABIES ARE
REAL, HUH? HUH?
>> DID YOU HEAR ME? THIS IS NOT
THE GODDAMN FARMERS MARKET, YOU
PERVERT. YOU CAN´T GO SQUEEZING
THE MELONS.
>> GET THE HELL OFF ME. THIS IS
BULLSHIT. FREAK. I´M NOT PAYING
FOR THIS.
>> I´M NOT A HOOKER. I´M A
PERFORMER.
>> YOU GOT SOME DELUSIONS OF
GRANDMA SISTER!
>> SHH. I´M SORRY. I´M VERY
SORRY. OK? THIS IS MY FIRST DAY.
I´M A LITTLE DEFENSIVE. OK? I´LL
BE NICE. I´M SORRY. OK?
I´LL LET YOU TOUCH ´EM. YOU WANT
TO TOUCH ´EM?
>> YOU KNOW WHAT, SWEETCHEEKS?
I´M OVER IT. BUT MY NAME´S DR.
CHRISTIAN TROY. I´M A PLASTIC
SURGEON. YOU SHOULD CALL ME, ALL
RIGHT. SO I CAN DO SOMETHING
WITH THESE GRAVITY BAGS.
THEY MUST BE KILLING YOUR BACK.
>> I DESERVED THAT. OK.
I TOTALLY DESERVED THAT.
JUST STAY. DON´T GET ME FIRED.
AND I´LL LET YOU TOUCH ´EM. AND
YOU´LL LIKE IT A LOT. YOU WANT
TO DO THAT? YEAH, TOUCH ´EM.
YEAH. PUT YOUR FACE RIGHT IN THE
MIDDLE OF THEM.
>> [MUMBLING]
>> HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM GRAVITY
BAGS, SHITFACE?!
>> ARE YOU GOING TO EAT THOSE
EGGS OR MAKE A SCULPTURE OF
THEM?
>> I DON´T EAT UNBORN CHICKENS.
[DISHES RATTLE]
>> THIS IS AN UNFERTILIZED
GLOBULE OF ALBUMEN AND PROTEIN.
IT COMES OUT OF THE SAME OPENING
THAT A CHICKEN POOPS OUT OF.
ONCE THE MOTHER HEN LAYS IT, SHE
PROMPTLY RUNS AWAY WITH GREAT
RELIEF. THIS EGG IS NEVER GOING
TO BE A CHICKEN. IT IS NEVER
GOING TO FEEL PAIN. AND IT IS
NEVER GOING TO HAVE A SOUL.
NOW EAT.
>> I´M NOT HUNGRY.
>> PERHAPS MADEMOISELLE McNAMARA
WOULD ENJOY HER EGGS MORE IF
THERE WAS A HUNK OF HAIR
MIXED IN.
[DOOR OPENS]
>> HELLO!
>> HEY.
>> ANYBODY HOME?
>> AWW. THIS MUST BE CONNOR.
>> HE´S A LITTLE SHY WITH NEW
PEOPLE.
>> MAYBE HE JUST SENSES EVIL.
>> ANNIE, FOR GOD SAKE.
SHE BEEN GIVING YOU A HARD TIME?
>> SHE´S A 13 YEAR OLD. IT´S HER
JOB.
>> I WISH I HAD YOUR PATIENCE.
>> WELL, YOU WERE NEVER A
TEENAGE GIRL. LUCKY ME.
>> CONNOR, THIS IS TEDDY.
>> HEY.
YOU´RE SO HANDSOME. JUST LIKE
YOUR DAD.
>> WOW. YOU SURE HAVE A WAY WITH
HIM.
>> ANNIE, YOU WANT TO DROP THE
ATTITUDE FOR 5 MINUTES AND TRY
TO BE A PART OF THIS FAMILY?
>> SHE´S NOT MY FAMILY.
>> SHE´S RIGHT. I AM THE MONSTER
WHO DARED HAVE HER SIT AND
EAT SOME EGGS. ANYTIME I EXERT
ANY AUTHORITY OVER HER SHE, UH,
THINKS I´M TRYING TO TAKE THE
PLACE OF HER MOM.
YOU KNOW, I WAS THINKING.
MAYBE WE COULD JUST START OVER.
YOU KNOW, GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER
IN A NEW ENVIRONMENT WHERE THERE
AREN´T SO MANY MEMORIES.
GO SOME PLACE TOGETHER.
>> YOU MEAN LIKE A FAMILY
VACATION?
SOUNDS LIKE FUN.
YOU KNOW, CONNOR´S NEVER BEEN TO
DISNEYLAND.
>> DISNEYLAND BLOWS. DISNEY
WORLD´S TWICE AS GOOD. ONLY HALF
AS MANY PEOPLE GET HURT EACH
YEAR.
>> I´M WITH ANNIE ON THIS ONE.
DISNEYLAND DOES BLOW.
I WAS THINKING MORE
ALONG THE LINES OF SOMETHING
KIND OF...ADVENTUROUS. LIKE A
CAMPING TRIP.
>> CAMPING? LIKE IN THE
OUTDOORS?
>> YEAH. LIKE IN THE OUTDOORS.
>> WELL, THAT SOUNDS GREAT. IT´D
BE SOMETHING NEW, WOULDN´T IT?
I THINK IT´S A FANTASTIC IDEA.
SHAKE THINGS UP A BIT. GIVE US
ALL A CHANCE TO CONNECT IN A NEW
WAY. HONEY, GIVE HER A CHANCE,
OK? FOR ME.
>> SOUNDS TO ME YOU LIKE YOU HAD
IT COMING.
>> WHEN I GO TO A STRIP CLUB,
I´M PAYING TO OBJECTIFY WOMEN.
THAT´S THE WHOLE GODDAMN POINT.
IT´S THE ONLY PLACE THIS SIDE OF
BANGKOK WHERE A MAN CAN ACTUALLY
ACT LIKE A MAN. I´M NOT LETTING
JENNY JUGGS RUIN OUR LAST MAN
OASIS.
>> STILL, YOU PROBABLY SHOULDN´T
HAVE SAID WHAT YOU SAID.
>> I SHOULD HAVE SAID
SOMETHING MUCH WORSE. THE ONLY
REASON THAT SHE´S WORKING THERE
IS SO SHE CAN GET RID OF HER
ANGRY FEMINIST AGENDA BULLSHIT.
SHE´S A TIT TERRORIST. SHE´S
VALERIE SOLANAS WITH BEACH
BALLS.
>> VALERIE WHO?
>> FAMOUS MAN-HATER WHO SHOT
WARHOL.
>> I DON´T UNDERSTAND.
SHE PUNCHED YOU IN THE FACE WITH
HER BREASTS?
>> YES! SHE PUNCHED ME IN THE
FACE WITH HER BREASTS. OK? AND
I´M NOT--
IT´S NOT FUNNY.
I´M NOT THE ONLY ONE. THERE ARE
OTHER VICTIMS. YOU CAN COME AND
TAKE A LOOK. I´M SERIOUS. IT´S
NOT--COME HERE, I´LL SHOW YOU.
LOOK.
>> YOU THINK YOU´RE SO SCARY
DON´T YA?
>> THOSE THINGS MUST WEIGH 50
POUNDS.
>> MM-HMM.
>> GLARING AT US WOMEN, SMILING.
>> SHE´S TALKING TO A PUMPKIN.
>> LAUGHING. I SAID STOP
SMILING! YOU WANT MY TRICKS AND
TREATS? WELL, I´M HERE TO TELL
YOU. I AM NO MAN´S TRICK. AHH!
AND THAT IS THE ONLY TREAT THAT
YOU DESERVE. A LESSON IN HOW TO
TREAT WOMEN.
>> YOU SEE? THOSE ARE DEADLY
WEAPONS.
>> WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?
>> I´M GONNA HAVE HER ARRESTED
FOR ASSAULT AND BATTERY.
SHE NEEDS TO BE TAUGHT A LESSON.
SHE NEEDS TO LEARN THAT CRIME
DOESN´T PAY.
>> YOU SEE, THIS IS A GREAT APP.
YOU CAN ALTER PHOTOGRAPHS. SEE,
I LOOK KIND OF SAD HERE. SO I
SWIPE IT. AND I´M SMILING.
[DOOR SLAMS]
>> THAT´S COOL.
>> I NEED TO SEE DR. TROY RIGHT
AWAY.
>> DO YOU HAVE AN APPOINTMENT?
>> NO. BUT I NEED TO TALK TO HIM
TODAY AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.
>> OK. WELL, WHY DON´T YOU JUST
TAKE A SEAT. AND WHAT´S YOUR
NAME?
>> JENNIFER JUGGS. OK? AND I´M
NOT LEAVING UNTIL I SEE HIM.
>> ALL RIGHT, WELL, SHE´S GONNA
CALL THE DOCTOR. YOU GO TAKE A
SEAT.
>> BUGHP.
>> I JUST HAVE HIS VOICEMAIL--
>> DR. TROY, I JUST BARELY MADE
BAIL AFTER SPENDING THE WHOLE
NIGHT IN A FREAKIN´ CELL! I JUST
LOST MY FREAKIN´ JOB TOO!
>> OK--ALL RIGHT.
>> I JUST--
>> TAKE A SEAT OR I´LL CALL
SECURITY.
>> YOU OBVIOUSLY DON´T KNOW WHO
YOU´RE TALKING TO.
>> CLEARLY A PERSON WITH POOR
PEOPLE SKILLS.
>> PEOPLE SKILLS?
WANT TO SEE SOME PEOPLE SKILLS?
>> ARE YOU THE WORLD´S MOST
SELF-DESTRUCTIVE WOMAN OR WHAT?
>> I KNOW, OK? I KNOW. I KNOW.
I HAVE RAGE ISSUES. BUT THAT´S
WHY I´M HERE. I´LL PAY FOR YOUR
PHONE, DR. TROY. I JUST NEED
SOME HELP.
>> DAMN RIGHT YOU NEED SOME
HELP. DR. EPSTEIN IS JUST DOWN
THE HALLWAY. HE´S A VERY WELL
RESPECTED SHRINK. HE DEALS WITH
YOU KNOW BODY IMAGE ISSUES.
>> IT´S SO MUCH BIGGER THAN
THAT. WHAT COLOR ARE MY EYES?
>> I DON´T KNOW.
>> THEY´RE BLUE! AND THEY´RE
REALLY PRETTY!
BUT NO ONE´S EVER GONNA KNOW
THAT. ALL THEY KNOW IS MY JUGGS
IS GIGANTIC.
IF YOU ASK ANYONE IN MY 10th
GRADE CLASS WHAT THEY REMEMBER
ABOUT JENNY JARVIS--FIRST,
THEY´LL LAUGH UNCOMFORTABLY.
AND THEN THEY´LL SAY HER
HUMUNGOUS TITS.
AND THAT´S IT.
´CAUSE THAT´S WHO I AM.
AND THAT´S ALL I´LL EVER BE.
I NEED YOU TO GIVE ME A BREAST
REDUCTION.
>> [SCOFFS]
WHY WOULD YOU WORK AT A STRIP
CLUB, HUH? IT´S THE ONE PLACE
WHERE PEOPLE ACTUALLY PAY TO
LOOK AT YOUR BREASTS. IT´S A
LITTLE COUNTER-INTUITIVE, DON´T
YOU THINK?
>> WHAT ELSE AM I GONNA DO?
YOU GONNA HIRE ME TO BE YOUR
RECEPTIONIST?
>> SWEETHEART AFTER WHAT YOU´VE
DONE TO MY T-2 AND MY TELEPHONE,
I DON´T THINK I´M THE RIGHT GUY
TO BE ASKING.
>> I KNOW THAT I SEEM A LITTLE
BITTER AND ANGRY. I NEED YOU TO
BELIEVE ME THAT I HAVE REALLY
TRIED TO EMBRACE MYSELF. I´VE
TRIED TO DO SOME STANDUP COMEDY
AND SOME PERFORMANCE ART.
>> IS THAT WHAT YOU CALL THOSE
VIDEOS? COMEDY AND PERFORMANCE
ART? YOU ARE A SICK, ANGRY
PERSON. YOU NEED TO BE TAUGHT A
LESSON.
>> I THOUGHT YOU WERE A DOCTOR,
AND I THOUGHT THAT YOU WOULD
WANT TO HEAL ME INSTEAD OF
TRYING TO PUNISH ME.
>> [EXHALES]
>> OK. CAN I GET A LITTLE HELP?
I´VE GOT MESS KITS, 4 SLEEPING
BAGS, COLEMAN LAMP, AND OTHER
ODDS AND ENDS.
ANNIE DOESN´T WANT TO GO.
>> I´LL BRING ALL THIS STUFF
BACK.
>> IS IT BUGS? HER ALLERGIES?
>> WELL, I TOLD HER ABOUT THE
CAMPER THAT SHE´D HAVE HER OWN
BED. I MADE IT SOUND LIKE THE 4
SEASONS.
>> SEAN, YOU´RE A GREAT DAD.
BUT YOU DON´T ASK A 13 YEAR OLD
TO GO ON A TRIP, YOU TELL HER.
>> I KNOW. I KNOW. IT´S JUST
THAT I DON´T SEE HER VERY OFTEN.
SO, YEAH. I INDULGE HER MORE
THAN I SHOULD.
>> ANNIE´S NEVER GONNA RESPECT
YOU IF SHE KNOWS SHE CAN
MANIPULATE YOU. YOU KNOW, KIDS
NEED LIMITS. DO YOU WANT TO BE
HER FATHER OR HER MARK.
WHY DON´T YOU DO THIS?
HOW ABOUT YOU AND
CHRISTIAN, YOU GO SEE MATT´S
MIME THINGY. AND I WILL TALK TO
HER.
>> THAT COULD BACKFIRE.
SHE HASN´T BEEN ABLE TO ACCEPT
YOU. I MEAN, US.
WE REALLY SHOULD HAVE HAD SOME
KIND OF CEREMONY. I COULD HAVE
INVITED ANNIE AND CONNOR AND
MADE THEM A PART OF IT.
>> YOU TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE,
HORRIBLE MAN YOU. THINKING OF
YOURSELF FOR ONCE. IT´LL BE OK.
I PROMISE I´LL TALK TO HER.
>> I LOVE YOU, MRS. McNAMARA.
DO YOU KNOW THAT?
>> YOU WANT TO WALK BACK AGAIN?
MAYBE HE WAS ON A BREAK.
>> YOU KIDDING ME. GO PAST ALL
THESE FREAKS AGAIN? THE WHOLE
PLACE SMELLS LIKE PATCHOULI.
>> HEY, EXCUSE ME. YOU NORMALLY
WORK DOWN HERE?
>> EVERY DAY, BRO.
>> IS THERE A SECTION WHERE WE
MIGHT FIND A MIME?
>> A MIME?
>> A MIME, YOU KNOW, THEY DO THE
WHOLE "I´M IN A BOX" THING. HE´S
GOT DARK HAIR. HIS NAME IS MATT.
>> YEAH. THERE´S NO MIMES ON
THIS BOARDWALK MAN. AT LEAST NOT
ANYMORE. I MEAN, THERE USED TO
BE A BUNCH, MAN. BUT NOW, LIKE--
>> NOW WHAT?
>> WELL, EVER SINCE THAT ONE
STARTED DOING ALL THOSE
ROBBERIES, MAN. THEY ALL JUST
SORT OF LIKE, DISAPPEARED, YOU
KNOW.
>> WHAT ROBBERIES?
>> SOME DUDE DRESSED AS A MIME
HAS BEEN JACKING PEOPLE AT GUN
POINT. HAPPENED LIKE 5 TIMES SO
THE COPS STARTED ROUNDING UP ALL
THE MIME´S ON THE BOARDWALK FOR
QUESTIONING RECENTLY. NOW,
THEY´RE ALL GONE.
>> SINCE WHEN?
>> A WEEK. WHICH IS GREAT FOR
ME, MAN. BECAUSE MORE BUSINESS!
>> HEY, HOW MUCH DO YOU MAKE IN
A DAY?
>> ON A GOOD WEEKEND LIKE, UH, I
DON´T KNOW LIKE 40, 50 BUCKS MAN
EASILY.
>> 40, 50 BUCKS.
>> YEAH.
>> THAT´S IT?
>> DUDE, THAT´S TAX FREE, MAN.
>> HOW MUCH DID MATT GIVE YOU
FOR THE RENT?
>> ALMOST 900 BUCKS.
[KNOCKING]
>> ANNIE? I´D LIKE TO TALK TO
YOU. HEY, THERE. I JUST WANTED
TO LET YOU KNOW THAT I
UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU´RE GOING
THROUGH. YOU KNOW, FEELING
BETRAYED, SELF CONSCIOUS,
CERTAIN THAT NO ONE LIKES YOU.
>> I DIDN´T SAY YOU COULD COME
IN.
>> I WASN´T AWARE THAT I NEEDED
PERMISSION TO ENTER AND EXIT IN
MY OWN HOME.
>> FINE. I´LL GO BACK TO MY
MOM´S.
>> WILL YOU? SEE YOU´RE MOM IS
JUST AS WORRIED ABOUT YOU AS WE
ARE. THAT´S WHY SHE SENT YOU
HERE. WE ALL AGREE THAT YOU NEED
HELP.
>> YOU´RE SO FULL OF IT. I DON´T
BELIEVE ANYTHING YOU SAY.
>> DISTRUSTFUL OF OTHERS.
I FORGOT THAT ONE. I´M GOING TO
HAVE TO ADD IT TO THE LIST.
>> WHAT LIST?
>> THE SYMPTOMS LIST ON THE
ADMISSIONS FORM.
ANNIE, YOU´RE NOT ALONE.
THERE ARE THOUSANDS
OF GIRLS JUST LIKE YOU. HAIR
EATERS, SKIN CUTTERS, SELF
STARVING MANIC DEPRESSIVES.
THEY´VE ALL MANAGED TO GET HELP
AT PLACES LIKE DISCOVERY RANCH.
NO, REALLY. JUST GOOGLE
"MENTALLY DISTURBED TEENAGE
GIRLS" YOU´LL SEE. THERE ARE
MORE RESIDENT CENTERS THAN MOTEL
6s. WE´LL FIND THE RIGHT ONE FOR
YOU.
>> MY DAD WILL NEVER--
>> YOU DADDY IS NOT ALWAYS GOING
TO BE AROUND TO PROTECT YOU.
AND YOU´RE NOT ALWAYS GOING TO
BE DADDY´S LITTLE GIRL. HERE´S A
BIG SECRET, ANNIE. HE´S A MAN
JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER MAN. YOU
CAN´T COUNT ON HIM. IN FACT,
HE´S ALREADY PRETTY FED UP WITH
YOU. FOR GOD´S SAKE HE HAD TO
PULL A POUND OF HAIR OUT OF YOUR
STOMACH. BUT IT´S UP TO YOU.
>> WHAT DO YOU THINK? ANY OF
THESE BOZOS LOOK FAMILIAR TO
YOU, MRS. PARK?
>> HMM. I DON´T KNOW. THEY ALL
LOOK THE SAME TO ME.
>> NUMBER 5 IS 6´5". YOU DON´T
REMEMBER IF THE MIME WHO HELD
YOU UP IS 6´5"?
>> IT HAPPENED VERY FAST.
>> AND HE DIDN´T SAY A WORD?
>> ALL HE DID WAS THAT MIME
SHIT.
[BEEP]
>> OK, GENTLEMAN, HERE´S THE
DRILL. YOU´RE EACH GOING TO STEP
FORWARD ONE AT A TIME. PRETEND
YOUR HOLDING A GUN TO SOMEBODY´S
FACE. NUMBER 1, YOU´RE FIRST.
[BEEP]
>> NO, THAT´S NOT HIM.
[BEEP]
>> YOUR TURN NUMBER 2.
[BEEP]
>> THAT LOOK LIKE LITTLE JOE ON
BONANZA.
[BEEP]
>> NUMBER 3.
[BEEP]
>> ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL
RIGHT GUYS. COME ON. LET´S JUST
KEEP THIS SIMPLE. NUMBER 4, IT´S
YOUR TURN.
[BEEP]
>> NO. THAT´S NOT HIM EITHER.
AND IT´S NOT THE BALD ONE. MY
MIME HAD HAIR.
>> YOU SURE HE WASN´T WEARING A
WIG?
>> NO. NO. NONE OF THESE GUYS
ARE RIGHT. ROUND UP SOME MORE
MIMES AND GIVE ME A CALL.
[BEEP]
>> ALL RIGHT, FELLAS YOU CAN GO
HOME.
[BEEP]
[THE BOOB FAIRY PLAYS]
>> WHEN I WAS IN
MY TEENAGE YEARS,
I DID JUST WHAT I SHOULD
I LISTENED TO MY MOTHER
AND I WAS KIND AND SWEET
AND GOOD,
AND MY FRIENDS AND I
DID RITUALS AND I PRAYED
WITH ALL MY MIGHT
THAT THIS WOULD BE THE EVENING
THAT SHE´D STOP
ALONG HER FLIGHT,
THE BOOB FAIRY
NEVER CAME FOR ME,
THAT BOOB FAIRY
NEVER CAME FOR ME ♫
>> THIS IS BULLSHIT! I CAN´T
BELIEVE YOU GUYS ARE ACCUSING ME
OF THIS! I´M YOUR SON.
>> WHICH IS WHY WE KNOW THIS
KIND OF THING ISN´T OUT OF
CHARACTER FOR YOU!
>> YOU´VE GONE FROM A LITTLE
SHIT TO A PIECE OF SHIT, MATT.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT, I DON´T NEED
TO LISTEN TO THIS.
>> YOU SIT!
I FOUND THIS IN YOUR BEDROOM.
>> YOU´RE GOING THROUGH MY STUFF
NOW, WHAT IS THIS MALIBU OR
MOSCOW?
>> WHERE´D YOU GET THE MONEY,
MATT?!
>> FROM MIMING!
>> BULLSHIT!
YOU GET 20 BUCKS FOR WALKING
AGAINST THE WIND?!
>> YEAH. SOMETIMES. I´M GOOD.
I TOLD YOU. OR IS THAT SO HARD
FOR YOU TO BELIEVE?
>> WE WENT DOWN TO VENICE AND
YOU WEREN´T THERE.
>> THAT´S BECAUSE I MOVED OVER
TO THE PROMENADE. THERE ARE MORE
EUROPEANS THERE, WHERE THE HELL
DO YOU THINK I GET ALL THE 20s
FROM? IT´S LIKE 2 BUCKS TO THEM.
>> PUT YOURSELF IN OUR SHOES.
THERE´S OVER $3,000 HERE. FROM
MIMING?!
>> YOU GUYS REALLY THINK I DID
IT. MY OWN FATHERS.
THAT´S--
THAT´S JUST GREAT. HOLD ON.
>> "ALBERT CHAVIES. DETECTIVE.
PACIFIC DIVISION." WHAT IS THIS?
>> WELL, HE´S THE COP
INVESTIGATING THE MIME CRIMES.
HE GAVE ME HIS CARD AFTER THE
LINE UP YESTERDAY.
>> YOU WERE IN A LINE UP?
>> YEAH. AND THE EYE WITNESS
CLEARED ME AS A SUSPECT. YOU CAN
CALL HIM IF YOU WANT TO. OH, AND
CONGRATULATIONS BY THE WAY. YOU
BOTH ARE GETTING WHAT YOU
WANTED. I´M MOVING OUT.
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
>> ALL RIGHT, BUDDY. HERE WE GO.
NOW THE TRICK HERE IS TO HOLD IT
JUST FAR ENOUGH AWAY TILL IT
GETS A LITTLE BROWN. BUT YOU
DON´T WANT IT TO CATCH ON FIRE.
>> THE KEY TO THE ´SMORES IS
GETTING THE PERFECT PROPORTION
BETWEEN THE, UH, CHOCOLATE BAR
TO GRAHAM CRACKER.
>> THINK THAT´S BROWN ENOUGH?
ME TOO. I THINK WE´RE READY.
>> OK.
OOH.
HERE YOU GO.
>> OH, LOOK AT THAT. LOOK HOW
GOOD THAT LOOKS. COME HERE SIT
DOWN.
>> I THINK YOURS IS READY.
>> GOODY.
>> YOU KNOW WHY THEY CALL IT A
´SMORE, DON´T YOU?
IT´S BECAUSE THE ´SMORE YOU EAT
THE ´SMORE YOU WANT.
>> MAYBE THEY SHOULD CALL ´EM
BARF BAGS.
>> WELL?
>> AT LEAST IT KEEPS THE BUGS
AWAY.
>> ALL RIGHT, MY TURN.
>> OOH, LET THE PROFESSIONAL
HANDLE THIS ONE.
>> DON´T SHORTCHANGE ME ON THE
GOOEY STUFF. OK?
>> I WON´T.
THERE YOU GO.
>> LOOK AT THAT. LOOK AT THAT.
>> NICE.
>> I´M GONNA GET SOME WATER.
>> CAN YOU FILL THE CANTEEN FOR
ME, PLEASE?
I THINK SHE´S
WARMING UP TO ME.
[TOILET FLUSHES]
>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT OF
BED? YOU JUST HAD A HUGE
SURGERY. DIDN´T SOMEBODY BRING
YOU A BEDPAN?
>> SHE FORGETS TO EMPTY IT.
>> WELL, THAT WILL NOT DO.
I APOLOGIZE. GET BACK INTO BED.
[BEEP]
COULD SOMEBODY COME IN HERE
AND CLEAN OUT MS. JUGGS´ BEDPAN
PLEASE.
>> MS. JUGGS IS DEAD. I HAVE TO
GET A NEW STAGE NAME.
>> JENNY JOY. NO NEED FOR ALL
THAT ANGER.
NOW, WE MANAGED TO TAKE OUT MORE
THAN I ANTICIPATED. SO WE TOOK
YOU DOWN TO A "C". FROM A "G" TO
A "C" IF YOU CAN BELIEVE THAT.
>> I´M A LITTLE DISORIENTED.
I JUST FEEL LIKE SOMETHING IS
MISSING.
>> UH-HUH. DRAINAGE IS LOOKING
GOOD. LINDA´S GONNA SHOW YOU HOW
TO DO THAT ONCE YOU GET HOME.
I GOTTA TELL YA. IN ALL THE
YEARS THAT I´VE DONE THIS, I´VE
NEVER SEEN, LET ALONE REMOVED,
SO MUCH FAT AND TISSUE AT ONE
TIME. I SHOULD HAVE CALLED THE
SHELTER. WE COULD HAVE FED THE
HOMELESS FOR WEEKS.
WHAT?
>> THEY LOOK LIKE 2 MOSQUITO
BITES.
>> SWEETHEART. A "C" IS A NICE
HANDFUL. AND YOU KNOW WHAT THEY
SAY. ANYTHING MORE THAN A
HANDFUL IS TOO HARD TO HANDLE.
>> DON´T TALK ABOUT MY BREASTS
AS IF THEY´RE YOUR PLAYTHINGS.
AND DON´T EVER CALL ME
SWEETHEART!
>> ARE YOU IN PAIN? HMM?
>> DON´T EVER--
>> YOU NEED TO GET A HANDLE ON
THAT. LOOK, YOU JUST GRAB THIS
LITTLE GUY HERE AND YOU PRESS
THE BUTTON.
>> PRESS THE BUTTON. LOOK AT
YOU, MR. AIN´T-I-COOL. FEELING
LIKE A BIGSHOT ´CAUSE YOU TOOK
AWAY MY MOJO.
>> JUST COOL YOUR JETS, ALL
RIGHT. I´LL GET SOMEBODY IN HERE
TO CLEAN OUT YOUR BED PAN.
>> NO NEED FOR THAT.
>> CAN´T DO THIS TO ME. I´M IN
RECOVERY. IT´S TORTURE!
>> CALL AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL.
I´M PRESSING FULL CHARGES
AGAINST HER.
>> I´M PRESSING FULL CHARGES
AGAINST YOU, YOU SEXUALLY
HARASSING DICKWEED!
>> IF I EVER SEE YOU AGAIN, I´LL
CUT OFF YOU ARMS AND LEGS AS
WELL!
>> NOT BEFORE I CUT YOUR HEAD
OFF AND SHIT DOWN YOUR NECK!
>> I GUESS JUST BECAUSE YOU TAKE
A PERSON´S WEAPONS AWAY DOESN´T
MEAN YOU TAKE AWAY THEIR ANGER.
HMM?
>> HEY BABY.
>> HEY.
>> SO, THE KIDS ARE PASSED OUT.
>> HMM.
>> I THINK NATURE DOES SOMETHING
FOR INSOMNIA.
>> THIS WAS A GREAT IDEA OF
YOURS. ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY.
>> MM-HMM. THIS WAS A VERY GOOD
IDEA.
>> SO THIS IS WHERE ALL THAT
SINGING´S COMING FROM?
>> SCARED ME.
>> SORRY. COULDN´T SLEEP AND I
HEARD THE OPERA. SO I FIGURED
WHY NOT COME SEE WHO MY CULTURED
NEIGHBOR IS. TEDDY McNAMARA.
>> NICE TO MEET YOU.
>> MY HUSBAND AND I ARE WITH THE
KIDS OVER AT NUMBER 14. JUST UP
THE ROAD.
>> I´M JERRY. I´M SORRY ABOUT
THE MUSIC. I REALLY THOUGHT I
WAS THE ONLY ONE OUT HERE.
>> OH, GOSH. NO WORRIES. I CAN´T
SLEEP IN THOSE CAMPERS ANYWAY.
THEY´RE SO CRAMPED. MY HUSBAND,
HE´S GOT THE HEAT UP FULL BLAST.
KIDS ARE SAWING LOGS. WHAT ABOUT
YOU? YOU HERE WITH A WIFE OR
GIRLFRIEND?
>> ME. NO. NO. I CAN´T CONVINCE
HER TO GET THE WADERS ON.
>> FLY FISHERMAN.
>> YEAH.
>> ANY LUCK TODAY.
>> NOT MUCH. BUT I THINK THAT´S
ABOUT TO CHANGE.
>> I HOPE SO.
>> WOULD YOU LIKE SOME WINE?
>> SURE. I HAVE SOME TIME.
>> IN THAT CASE, YOU´RE REALLY
GOING TO ENJOY THE SHOW.
>> THE SHOW? WHAT SHOW?
>> [GROANING]
>> SO WHERE ARE WE GOING?
>> JUST A FEW MORE STEPS.
[OWL HOOTING]
>> HERE WE ARE.
>> WHERE?
>> JUST WAIT A SECOND. IT´S
ABOUT TO BEGIN.
>> DAD. DAD. CONNOR´S SICK AND I
FEEL LIKE I´M GONNA THROW UP.
>> MY HEAD...
>> YOU FEEL IT TOO?
>> CAN YOU JUST OPEN A WINDOW?
>> I TRIED BUT THEY´RE ALL
LOCKED.
[OPERA MUSIC CONTINUES]
>> IT´S CALLED THE PERSEID
METEOR SHOWER NAMED AFTER THE
PERSEUS CONSTELLATION.
>> OH.
>> HAPPENS EVERY YEAR ABOUT THIS
TIME. BUT TONIGHT IS A VERY RARE
EVENT.
>> CONNOR, HEY. COME HERE, BUD.
COME HERE. WE´RE GONNA GET OUT
OF HERE.
>> IT´S SO TRANSCENDING.
THIS IS THE BEST PART.
YOU CAN FEEL IT. IT´S LIKE BEING
ONE WITH THE COSMOS. LIKE GODS.
>> [COUGHING]
>> YES. WELL, THANK YOU FOR
BRINGING ME OUT HERE. I NEED TO
GO.
>> OK. COME ON. LET´S GO. COME
ON, BUDDY. [COUGHING]
>> HELP! HELP!
>> I HATE THE ONE´S THAT SCREAM.
>> UGH!
>> ARE YOU OK?
>> IT FEELS WORSE.
>> HELP! SOMEBODY HELP!
>> SEAN!
>> YOU OK?
>> I DON´T UNDERSTAND WHAT
HAPPENED.
>> KEEP YOUR BROTHER AWAKE.
>> SEAN!
SEAN! SEAN!
[BEEPS]
>> MY WIFE MUST HAVE TAKEN THE
KEYS WHEN SHE WENT FOR A WALK.
>> I´LL GET ONE OF MY GUYS TO
SWING BY AND FIND HER WHEN SHE
GETS BACK FROM HER WALK. YOU
KNOW YOU´RE JUST LUCKY I HEARD
YOU SCREAMING. NEVER GET ANY
CELL RECEPTION OUT HERE.
>> YEAH. LUCKY.
>> YOU´RE THAT MIME BANDIT,
RIGHT?
[BEEP]
DON´T WORRY. THEY DON´T PAY ME
ENOUGH TO PUT UP A FIGHT.
IT´S KINDA COOL, ACTUALLY.
GET ME ON THE 6:00 NEWS.
MAYBE THEY SEND ONE OF
THOSE HOT ASS REPORTERS
DOWN AND INTERVIEW ME.
YOU WANT SILVER TOO?
>> CAN YOU MIME DEAD?
>> OH, SHIT.
[KNOCKING]
>> WHO IS IT?
>> CHRISTIAN?
>> WHAT? YOU FORGET YOUR
INVISIBLE BOX?
WHAT?
>> HELP ME.
>> JESUS.